I wanted to talk about a big topic linked to my diagnosis, which is faith. I went through a lot of different stages and it is interesting to see how my circumstances changed my views and beliefs. In order to understand my own evolution, I have to go to the beginning. I was born into … Continue reading Faith


How far can doctors go and who is ultimately making decisions?

An interesting thing happened at my consultation yesterday following my recent MRI scan. The consultant neurosurgeon and the Neuro-oncology Specialist Nurse had these martyred expressions on their faces. They said that my recent scan hasn’t shown significant change but they discussed my case at their MDT meeting and they believe that I should have a … Continue reading How far can doctors go and who is ultimately making decisions?

Being at a crossroads

You know that feeling when you have to make an important decision in your life or make a change and you are just really confused and don’t know what to do? That’s exactly where I am right now, and it sucks. The question that I get quite often is whether I’ve undergone any treatments. My … Continue reading Being at a crossroads

Why I still write and what have I learnt a year on …

I started this blog more than a year ago with just a selfish intention. I didn’t really care about the reaction this would get or who would read it. I mainly did it for my own sake. I opened up to the world but even more importantly to myself. A lot has changed since I … Continue reading Why I still write and what have I learnt a year on …

Scanxiety is real

I’m very lucky. I only have my MRI once a year, which means I don’t usually have to think about it for most of the 10 months. But then, the next date starts approaching and generally two months prior the scan, the thoughts begin to eat me inside again. My annual MRI is next week … Continue reading Scanxiety is real

My year of smoking weed and having Botox

2017 was a year of many firsts. For the first time, I had my annual MRI without any anxiety medication I did my first Reiki course Rather embarrassingly, I smoked weed for the first time Started using CBD oil   And, also decided to try Botox. Wait what??!!   One of the symptoms that I’m … Continue reading My year of smoking weed and having Botox

My reaction to an article defending antidepressants

I just wanted to write a quick reaction to a recent article in the Guardian about antidepressants, as this is something relevant to what I have been blogging about and still perceived as a controversial topic. The article titled ‘Antidepressants work, so why do we shame people for taking them?’ talks about the stigma attached … Continue reading My reaction to an article defending antidepressants

Other relaxation and anxiety management techniques

So far, I’ve talked about the main anxiety management tools that helped me to get out of the vicious anxiety and panic attack circle and improve my mental health: letting go, meditation and breathing. Each one of them is complex and interconnected with the other. In other words, It wasn’t just me practising these exercises … Continue reading Other relaxation and anxiety management techniques


Breathing goes hand in hand with the other anxiety management tools that I wrote about. In my case, breathing is very closely tight with meditation as my most frequently practised form is basic breathing meditation. Breathing is something so simple and natural. We take it for granted and usually don’t pay close attention to it. … Continue reading Breathing

My Meditation

I always knew what meditation was but only really started practising it in September 2016. I began with ‘guided meditation’, which I believe is the easiest way to start meditating if you are new to the practice. The one that I used was this one from iTunes. But even if you just google 'guided meditation', … Continue reading My Meditation